


Keeping up with the Vampires

by Uraunde (rareb)



Category: Tempt (Band), บังเอิญรัก | Love by Chance (TV), บังเอิญรัก | Love by Chance (TV) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Attempt at Humor, Comedy, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, Inspired by Twitter, M/M, Silly, Somewhat Inspired by What We Do in the Shadows, Television Watching, Unorthodox Vampire Lore, Writing Comedy is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-15 15:30:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21255617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rareb/pseuds/Uraunde
Summary: Can has convinced Tin to watch a hot new reality show with him: daylight vampires, who are scared of the dark and live in the house next to the Medthanans' mansion.This was inspired by jokes on twitter. The vampire lore I used doesn't make much sense, it was just a bit of fun - so I'm posting this for Halloween. But these Vampires are neither spooky nor fearsome, they're just crackheads.Here, Tin and Can exist in the same universe as Mean, Plan, and the other Tempt guys.





	1. Episode 1

**Author's Note:**

> Recently, all of Tempt, as well as Mean and Gong from Hive salon were styled in a way that made them look like vampires at various events. I was joking with a few people on Twitter about making Tempt a crackhead vampire coven living as housemates like the vampires in What We Do in the Shadows (but not as dark and bloody, because I just can't write that). 
> 
> This is the result. 
> 
> Lessons I learned: writing comedy is really hard, and it was all funnier in my head. But I'm posting it anyway.

“Yay! I’m making popcorn!”

Tin sighed while he watched Can scurry away into the kitchen. Sometimes he hated that he just couldn’t say no to Can if he was insistent like that.

Unfortunately, three days ago there had been a preview for a hot new reality TV show during half time of a Champion’s League game – and ever since Can had seen it, he had begged Tin to watch it with him.

_Tiiin, please, it’s about vampires! I didn’t even know vampires were real. That’s so cool. Let’s watch it! Please, please, please._

While he was preparing the couch for an evening in front of the TV, he could still hear Can’s voice echoing in his head.

It had been pointless arguing with him that vampires weren’t _really_ real, and that Can was just falling for a cheap marketing trick. Since Can had seen that preview, he hadn’t stopped talking about that vampire show, and he had stubbornly refused to believe Tin that vampires weren’t a thing.

Truth be told, Tin couldn’t be too annoyed with Can. It was nice, spending a chill evening together in front of the TV, even if it was for a fake reality show.

“Caaan? What are you doing? It’s about to start!”

There was a distinct cluttering sound in the kitchen of a bowl being taken out of a cupboard, followed by the ping of the microwave.

“Just a moment!” Can shouted.

Soon after, he came running back into the living room, balancing a dangerously full bowl of popcorn in his hands, making Tin wonder how he had managed to come here without spilling everything on the floor.

“Has it started, yet?” He asked anxiously.

Tin shook his head.

“No, but sit down quickly, I think the ad break is almost over.”

Can dropped into the sofa next to Tin lightly, putting the bowl down between them; and Tin automatically took it and put it on the table in front of them instead. He didn’t want to be separated from Can by the popcorn bowl – even if Can would surely complain about having to lean forwards to eat it.

When the intro of the show finally started, Tin couldn’t help but glance sideways at Can, whose eyes were glued to the screen. He loved how Can could fully immerse himself into something, if he was into it, as he was now.

“Isn’t this the house next to your parents’ mansion? The one your family always wanted to buy, but they never sold?”

Tin froze.

“It is…” he mumbled.

That was weird.

His grandma, his father, and his brother had all made ridiculously high offers to the owners of the house next door, because they wanted to expand the park of their own mansion – and the owners had never agreed to sell. None of the usual dirty Medthanan tricks and threats had worked on them, either.

“This is why they wouldn’t sell it!” Can excitedly pointed at the screen, “because they’re _vampires_!”

“Oh, stop it with the vampires. Can, seriously, they’re actors. Look, isn’t this that _Perth_ guy who stars in the drama Phupha loves so much?”

The show hadn’t even started, it was just the intro – but Can still nodded happily.

“How cool! Who would have thought he was a vampire? I wonder how old he is… Hey, do you think they’ll tell us?”

_Ahhh…_ Tin exhaled.

He wouldn’t be able to convince Can otherwise. He was probably smack in the middle of the target audience for _Keeping up with the Vampires_. Tin loved Can to death, and being willing to believe anything at face value might have been one reason for it, but sometimes... he wished Can was a bit less credulous.

“Ohhh Tin, don’t you think this one looks a bit like you?”

Can pointed at the screen and the vignette that introduced one of the protagonists as _Mean_.

Tin tilted his head.

“Do you think? I’m not _this_ pale… but the one playing the leader looks a bit like you, doesn’t he?”

“No way!”

The intro zoomed in on one of the ‘vampires’, who smiled nervously into the camera and tapped the microphone.

“Is this thing on?”

Even though he clearly tried to speak softly, his voice still had a loud boom to it, making Tin think that this simple question might have ripped the poor sound person’s eardrums.

There was movement at the edge of the frame, maybe it was actually someone fainting.

He wondered how they had made that boom-effect.

They had clearly enhanced it in post-production as well, the camera seemed to shake and cartoon sweat pearls appeared on the actor’s sleeve.

“Psst,” another really pale and really handsome guy next to the first actor hissed. It looked like he was just passing by and Tin finally recognised him as Phu’s favourite actor Perth, “Title, you have to control your volume.”

“Ah, sorry,” the first guy, Title, said, bowing awkwardly and now speaking in an overly hushed tone, “I’m not used to talking to outsiders. Ah, where were we…”

There was a cut, and Title was repositioned at the centre of the frame, smiling just a tad less nervously. Perth was nowhere to be seen anymore.

“Hi, I’m Title, I’m a daylight vampire, and I’m excited to show you how we live,” he said in a reasonably normal voice.

“He’s handsome,” Can said, making Tin feel the little pang of jealousy he always felt when Can praised someone else, “the silver hair really suits him. Do you think that’s a vampire thing? The hair? Would I get silver hair, too, if they turned me?”

It would probably be better if he just went along with the vampire thing, Tin decided. Can wouldn’t let it go, anyway.

“Can you tell us what a daylight vampire is?” a voiceover narrator asked, clearly paraphrasing a question the director had asked on set.

“Ah, err, of course,” Title said nervously, “there are two basic types of vampires: daylight and night. The night ones are the ones people are probably thinking of when they think of us. Creatures of the night, allergic to light, dangerous and predatory. And daylight vampires are the opposite. We’re allergic to darkness and we’re harmless and helpful.”

This certainly explained why the entrance hall of the mansion that Title had just stepped into was blindingly brightly lit.

Tin had to give it to the producers of that show, they were creative with their vampire lore. He hadn’t heard of daylight vampires, yet. That was a new spin to the stale lore.

Luckily, the disembodied voice from the off also asked the question Tin had just had:

“So, how do you become a daylight vampire?”

“Ah, that’s… easy,” Title said, fidgeting a bit, “if a vampire always kills to… fee-… err… to… to _eat_, they become a night vampire. If they only drink blood from living volunteers, they become a daylight vampire. If they alternate from month to month… they can survive during days and nights, but it’s a bit tedious, feeling bothered by both daylight and darkness. And don’t worry, _we_ don’t do that. We have been living off of volunteers and blood donations for centuries. We are a _purely_ daylight coven. It was actually our leader, Plan, who discovered daylight vampiring first. It has become much easier, now that modern medicine and technology let us extract blood hygienically and store it properly for months. Let me show you our donation room.”

The room he walked into looked sterile, light, and clean, like a medical cabinet out of a futuristic science fiction movie. Tin found it a nice touch that the set designers had invested in security glass fridges that displayed the donated blood in neatly labelled bottles, making it look like an exquisite wine collection at a fancy restaurant.

“Woah, Tin… do you think they’d take our blood, too? Wouldn’t it be freaky to give blood to these vampires? Hey, do you think they’re doing the show to attract new donors?”

Tin pulled Can closer to himself and into a tight embrace.

“Forget it.”

Though maybe… maybe this was the real reason for the show, Tin thought. Hospitals were notoriously short on blood donations. Why not promote blood donations by making a vampire-themed show catering towards a younger audience?

Can suddenly flinched at a loud, ghoulish wail coming from the TV, and Tin had to suppress a snicker.

For someone who adored watching horror movies, Can was incredibly jumpy and easily unsettled, and he never seemed to get used to it at all. Going to a haunted house ride at an amusement park with Can was always an experience.

“What was that?”

Can’s question came practically in sync with the one from the narrator.

“Don’t mind that,” Title said, visibly forcing himself to keep his smile. “That’s just Gun. He’s had a little _accident_ last month and is a bit sensitive at the moment.”

The words hung in the air eerily.

The question wasn’t really asked in the show, but Tin was sure it was in everyone’s minds at home: did the accident involve this other vampire killing a volunteer? How was that even possible, if they were living off of blood donations?

Every show probably needed a bad or at least ambiguous character, Tin figured… the Gun guy was probably the one in this show.

He caught himself getting sucked into the lore of this, as if he was also starting to think of them as vampires instead of human actors. They weren’t thinking small for this show.

Shaking his head, he tried to get himself out of that mindset.

Meanwhile, Title was explaining how blood donations worked, assuring everyone that it was completely safe nowadays, and as a donor you didn’t even get in contact with the vampire at all.

To underline this statement, the show featured statements of nervous volunteers telling everyone how honoured they were to donate blood for these nice young men and that it was really, _totally_ safe.

But... did they really sound like volunteers?

In Tin’s ears, they sounded strangely mesmerised, as if there were some kind of spooky vampire powers involved after all. Particularly the one who was clearly an avid Perth fangirl sounded like she was about to drool all over the place.

The show cut back to Title explaining the concept after that:

“All we need is for our donors to stay in contact with us and make sure we get notified if they die, so we can throw out their donations before we accidentally drink them. It gets a bit uncomfortable otherwise.”

He didn’t elaborate – but maybe this was the type of accident Gun had had, then?

“Of course, since Perth has become so popular as an actor, we get more and more requests from people who don’t want a _medical_ donation despite the risk,” Title continued cheerfully, while he moved out of the donation room into the living area.

“You young ones always make a fuss about the risk. It used to be like this all the time,” another vampire said from the off.

When he came into view, Tin recognised him as Mean, the one Can had thought looked a bit like him. With a frown, Tin tried to see the resemblance, but… really? Mean had dark hair and almost translucent skin, highlighted by the black, slightly goth-y clothes he wore, whereas Tin had brown hair and preferred a clean look of just shirts and chinos.

Title rolled his eyes to the camera in reaction to Mean, while keeping a smile plastered on his face.

“Yes, grandpa,” he said, “I know, poor you, having to do it the hard way, all the _self-control_!”

His voice got into a melodic sing-sang for the word “self-control”.

“Is this how you address your leader?”

Title looked into the camera, carefully angling himself to keep his expression hidden from Mean, and whispered: “we let him think he’s a leader, too. But don’t believe him. His husband is the real leader. We just say that to keep him happy. See how grumpy he gets otherwise.”

Out loud, however, he said:

“I’m sorry, Leader Mean.”

Somewhat to Tin’s surprise, the dark mood on Mean’s face disappeared immediately, and he smiled fondly at Title, and into the camera. He wondered how things would go for Title, now that the episode was airing and Mean could hear what Title had really said about him.

_Actors, Tin, they’re just actors. Nothing will happen. Stop letting them get into your head._

“You can joke about it, Title, you didn’t have to go through it. You act like doing it the old-fashioned way is a_ treat_,” Mean said darkly, “when in reality, it’s much more agreeable nowadays, not having to meet them at all.”

He chuckled.

“Who wants to know their food personally, after all?”

In the background, Perth appeared next to Title. He looked like he was coming back from an acting job, still all styled up and handsome.

He immediately started to pantomime and silently move his lips along Mean’s words as he continued.

It was obvious that he had heard the same rant countless times before.

“Back in the day, everything was _physical_, it was direct. Only you and the volunteer in a backroom somewhere, a chair maybe, or a bed if we were lucky. Quick, _shameful_. And, if you lost your self-control just once, it undid months of efforts to be able to go out during the day. And, well... poor volunteer, right?”

A roll of thunder could be heard outside, a sound that made Mean jump and cower immediately, while everyone else remained calm in contrast.

Mean also collected himself fast, quickly flattening his low-cut shirt and fixing his hair.

“You younglings are lucky that you don’t know the horror of stormy nights.”

He shook his head, but looked surprisingly composed again.

“Stormy nights were deadly for us, before electric lighting was available. We lost more than one dear friend to oil lamps burning down too fast and candles being blown out by wind.”

While Mean sighed heavily in memory of those they lost, Tin was distracted by Can’s heartfelt laughter that almost made him fall off the couch.

The way Perth had perfectly synced up to Mean’s mannerisms as he spoke admittedly _was_ funny – but Tin could never laugh as unguarded as Can at anything. He would have gotten into an insane amount of trouble as a kid if he had ever done that.

Someone in the production team must also have laughed, because Mean’s gaze turned from friendly and nostalgic to a glare in a heartbeat.

Tin flinched back in surprise.

“Do you find it funny that my friends died?”

The camera shook a bit, while a faint voice apologised to Mean for being inappropriate – and someone behind the camera must have pointed towards Perth and Title as an explanation, because Mean turned around.

Of course, Perth and Title looked like the picture of well-behaved, innocent young adults by now.

Mean twitched a little in confusion, and turned back to the camera.

“Come on, let me show you the rest of the house.”

The rest of the house was difficult to gauge for Tin, as Mean showed the team around, with Title and Perth sheepishly following their senior. On the outside, the old-style mansion had always looked run-down and outdated – one of the big reasons why his grandma had originally thought it would be easy to buy it and demolish it – but on the inside, it looked clean, light, and futuristic.

Surprisingly, the tour ended in a bright kitchen, where another person was sitting on a bar chair at the counter, sipping on a wine glass of red liquid.

“Do vampires need to cook?” the narrator asked.

Mean actually chuckled.

“No, not at all. But we maintain a kitchen for human guests… like you. It’s just polite to have one for special occasions.”

The guy sitting at the counter lifted his glass, smiled and said:

“Don’t act as if you’re having other human guests besides me.”

Mean’s expression darkened visibly.

“How many times do you want to go over this, Gong? You are not human.”

The man frowned, confused.

“I am.”

“You are older than Plan, and he’s our oldest,” Mean pointed out – Tin recognised the tone of voice he used only too well. It was the one he always fell into when he tried to get Can to see reason.

“My family has always been long-lived.”

Mean visibly tried not to let his composure slip, his smile looked incredibly forced.

“How old do humans usually get? What, 100, 200 years? You’re more than 700 years old.”

Gong shrugged.

“I got lucky.”

Mean shook his head, and for a moment, it looked like he was weighing his options.

“You’re drinking a blood drink.”

“What? Humans can’t enjoy a nice glass of blood once in a while? I just like the taste of it. You’re discriminating against me!”

The post-production had added the words _humans enjoy a nice glass of blood once in a while_ onto the screen, zooming in on vampire-in-denial Gong.

“Would you try that, Tin? A glass of blood? As a dare, maybe?” Can asked, smirking at him.

“Eww, Can, don’t even think about it.”

Tin needed to remember the rule: Can was never allowed to pick dare in a truth or dare game, if they didn’t want to end up in the hospital. They had made that mistake only once.

Behind Mean the voice of someone rapidly approaching could be heard.

“Leave him alone, Mean.”

The speaker conveyed an undeniable authority – and the obvious leader of the house stepped in front of the camera. Tin remembered his face from the intro – Plan, the one who reminded him of Can.

Now that he was actually moving and acting, the similarity was even more striking. Plan had a young and innocent face, he looked younger than all of the others – but there was a fire in his eyes right now that made it clear who called the shots in this house.

Tin was grateful that Can at least listened to him well.

Usually.

When he didn’t want to watch a vampire show or something like that.

“He has to acknowledge who he is eventually, Plan. Why not use the TV show to help him? It’s been going on for, what, 600 years? It’s getting ridiculous.”

He suddenly frowned darkly at Plan.

“Are you afraid of losing your leadership position if Gong realised he was a vampire? He’s older than you in every sense.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Come on, Mean, you know me better.”

The camera zoomed in on Title and Perth looking at each other, shrugging – and Perth even mouthed a silent _here we go again_.

“Do you want to sleep on the balcony? Don’t believe I won’t do it.”

“Oh, I know you will… but you’ll miss me and join me, won’t you?”

“Not this time.”

There was another cut, and the next scene showed Title and Perth, quietly sitting with Gong at the kitchen counter – the two younger vampires now also holding glasses of red liquid. In the background, loud crashing and tumbling noises could be heard, along with screams and shouted, unintelligible words.

“Don’t mind them,” Perth said for the benefit of the audience, smiling at his most handsome, “this is just foreplay for them.”

All three of them at the table nodded, somewhat dejected.

“Shame we’ll have to replace the furniture upstairs again. I liked the ones we had this time. And it lasted for, what, three months?” Title added. “Is that a record?”

They were all shown pondering about it – enhanced once again by the production.

“No, four months is the record,” Gong said, “back in 1854, before your time. But… ah, dunno if it counts, Mean was away on his own for three months, then. Don’t remember where he went, China maybe. Or, was it India?”

Perth, who, according to the text overlay was the youngest of the vampires, was having none of it:

“Come on, it doesn’t count if Mean wasn’t here for three of the four months. Have they really not been apart from each other longer than that?”

Gong honestly thought about it – helpfully highlighted by visual effects added in post-production.

“My memory is a bit fuzzy further back,” he admitted, and, turning to someone behind the camera, he added, “maybe we should give you a list of topics you shouldn’t bring up around these two, if you don’t want them to disappear from your show like this every time.”

“Will they be fine?” the narrator asked.

The three vampires at the table laughed out loud.

“Of course! They’re okay, don’t worry,” Perth chuckled, “they just like to fight and bicker, but they’re really sweet together if you know them. They don’t really mean it.”

“Besides,” Title added, “they’re vampires. Not like they’ll be able to kill each other easily. There won’t even be any bruises by tomorrow.”

“Shhh, don’t mention bruises,” Perth hissed at him.

Before Tin could properly wonder why this would be a sensitive topic in particular, the young vampire provided the answer.

“Don’t you remember that Mean has been trying to give Plan a hickey for… _centuries_? Don’t rub it in, will you?”

Tin glanced at Can.

No hickeys? That was certainly a downside to being a vampire, then. Tin didn’t know what he would do if he couldn’t stake his claim on Can, whenever he was feeling a bit jealous. And it wasn’t like Can didn’t love receiving them.

He caught Can’s gaze, clearly thinking the same.

The loud noises in the background of the vampire show, indicating that the two leaders of the coven had transitioned into an angry make-out session at the very least, didn’t help Tin’s sudden appetite.

He leaned over to Can and effortlessly got him to slide backwards onto the couch. With his face hovering over Can’s, he smirked.

“I’d never allow you to get turned into a vampire, Can,” he said, not even caring about the fact that he had stopped being cynical about the vampire act.

“But could you… maybe…” Can stammered, showing a rare case of nervousness, “_pretend_ to be one?”

Tin needed just a moment to digest this… not that he hadn’t thought about that, too.

“Did you find them _this_ hot?”

Can nodded, shyly.

“Maybe I shouldn’t allow you to watch that show anymore, then.”

“Tin,” Can said, earnestly, “you’re hotter than them.”

And with a chuckle, he added:

“You could even say they are _cold_.”

“Can!”

The only way Tin could think of to stop Can from making more of these corny jokes was to shut him up with a kiss. And he very much intended to make him moan and gasp for air soon, too.

In the background, the vampire show was still running, all but forgotten by the two lovers trying their best to recreate their impression of hot vampire sex. Only when Tin looked up to take a breath occasionally, could he see that the show was still on. One picture he caught was the camera team accompanying Perth to an event, with a brooding Mean walking right behind him like a hovering parent. Another one was of Mean and Plan happily taking selfies together in the blazing sunlight in the garden behind the house.

Maybe they should continue watching, after all. It had certainly been _inspiring_ – even though Tin wasn’t entirely sure if Can was getting competitive over breaking furniture at the height of passion, the way he was egging him on today.

It might be worth replacing furniture for this.


	2. Episode 2

“Woohoo!”

Can did a little happy dance with his phone pressed against his chest. Before he put it back into his locker to prepare for his afternoon shift at the gym, he looked at Tin’s message again:

_Let’s watch Vampires together again tonight!_

A wide smile was still plastered all over his face when he skipped back into the training room. He waved at all the regulars he recognised and cheerfully helped a new customer get familiar with the training devices.

Tin had asked to watch Vampires again. Can didn’t even have to nag him this time. He had suggested it all on his own!

Tin!

Okay, maybe the fact that Can had allowed Tin to give him love bites all over his neck halfway through the first episode had something to do with it… and that things had gotten so intense that they had had to replace the coffee table in the living room the next time.

Can absent-mindedly ran his hand over his neck, where the hickeys had all but faded away, but he thought he could still feel them.

Watching Vampires with Tin had many benefits.

It didn’t bother Can at all that Tin didn’t believe the Vampires in the show were real, or that he was much more genuinely into the show than Tin – watching TV together was one of his favourite evening activities at home.

Plus, the Vampires show ticked all his boxes: he loved supernatural stories, he loved funny stories, and being able to look at handsome young guys wasn’t bad, either.

Not that Can would ever admire anybody else the way he admired Tin. But… there was no harm in _looking_, was there?

If Tin kept this up and watching Vampires every week became the fixture in their schedule Can wanted it to be, he might even try and convince Tin to go to a fanmeeting together.

Can really wanted to have their autographs.

Somewhat surprisingly, Tin was actually waiting for him in the living room with drinks and popcorn by the time Can got home. He had had to gently convince a very persistent customer to leave the gym, so he could close up in time. He was still running late as usual.

But he could trust Tin to be on time.

“Sit down, it’s about to start!”

The excitement in Tin’s voice didn’t escape Can.

He smiled and quickly jumped into Tin’s arms to make himself comfortable. They hadn’t seen each other since breakfast. Tin had had to cancel his usual private morning training session with Can because of an important meeting at work, and the happiness Can had felt this afternoon made him feel especially cuddly.

“Let’s watch it to the end this time,” Can announced, knowing that he was just as likely as Tin to snap first. “I needed to catch the rerun to see how Perth got ready for his fanmeeting last week. It was actually pretty cool, he’s really charming, you should have watched it with me. Hey, do you think I could become an actor, too?”

Tin pulled him closer and gave him an affectionate peck on his cheek.

“No.”

Can struggled himself half-free and looked at Tin.

“No? Why not?”

“Well, firstly, you’re too honest to pretend to be someone else,” Tin answered.

Can loved how adoringly he was looking at him as he said it.

“And secondly, I don’t want to share you with greedy fans.”

Can had wanted to complain that Tin never let him do anything fun – but the intro of _Keeping up with the Vampires_ started and his attention immediately shifted onto the screen.

“Which one is your favourite, Tin?”

There was no answer, just a disinterested shrug – and something that sounded suspiciously like an almost toneless _you_.

“I know, it’s so difficult to decide, isn’t it? Title is pretty cool. He was so nice when he explained everything last episode, and it was cute how nervous he was at first. But Mean and Plan are like, _couple goals_, am I right? And Perth is hilarious. I bet it would be fun hanging out with him. We didn’t see much of Gun, yet, so I dunno about him… Hey… do you think we can go and ring at their door, they’re your parents’ neighbours, it wouldn’t be weird, would it?”

His thoughts were almost stuck on the subject of his favourites, if Tin hadn’t nudged him lightly and pointed at the screen.

Ah, the episode had started.

All of the vampires, plus the pseudo-human Gong were lounging in the brightly lit living room of their mansion, solemnly listening to a vinyl record on old-fashioned turntables. The two leaders were happily cuddled up to each other, not unlike Tin and Can themselves.

“I’ve been thinking…” Plan began.

He was immediately interrupted by Gong saying:

“Oh, _dangerous_.”

It earned him a friendly slap on his upper arm from Plan, who wasn’t discouraged from speaking by it at all.

“I walked into our storage room the other day,” he said.

“Which one?” Someone shouted – Can couldn’t make out who it was – while the overlay informed the audience that the vampire mansion had over a dozen storage rooms.

“The one where we keep our musical instruments.”

While Plan was saying it, another scene showed him a few days earlier, walking into a packed storage room full of musical instruments of all types, modern and antique, and seemingly from all over the world.

“I found my old set of drums. I forgot how much fun it is to play.”

The scene showed how Plan uncovered the dusty drums and sat down to play a funky rhythm.

“So, I was thinking…” the camera was now focussed entirely on his face. Can still couldn’t see the resemblance Tin saw between him and the vampire leader. “We should form a band and play a few gigs.”

“It’s so obvious,” Tin complained, gesturing at the TV set, “like Plan just had this idea out of the blue, while the TV crew was conveniently present, and it wasn’t scripted _at all_.”

In a strikingly similar tone to Tin, Mean also complained:

“You do that, if you want. I’m busy.”

Plan furrowed his brow suspiciously, not unlike Can had seen Tin do when he was sceptical about something.

“What would you be busy with?”

Mean smiled.

“Modelling.”

The answer made Perth jerk up into a more upright position.

“Since when do you model? I thought I was the only one working here…”

“The only one working?” Title glared at him quietly. “How do you think this house gets cleaned every day if I didn’t do it? Acting was your choice, you don’t have to do it. Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy it.”

Perth was just shown jumping up and lunging towards Title, then there was a sudden cut to the vampires sitting together peacefully once more – though both Perth and Title had visibly ruffled hair. Can also noticed that Gun, who had not been present in the first episode at all, looked a little under the weather and didn’t look phased by the others’ fight at all.

“Do vampires get sick?” Can asked, tilting his head towards Tin.

Tin shrugged.

“Aren’t they immortal? Why would they get sick?”

He had a point there, Can decided, maybe he could find out later – and he turned his attention back to the show, where Mean was just explaining that a modelling agency had offered him a contract when he had accompanied Perth to his last event, and that he had accepted it.

“Why would you accept that? Who would want to see your face? And I thought you hated being in pictures?”

Plan tilted his head upwards to Mean, in whose arms he was still lying. For the first time, Can could see some similarity between them.

“I was bored.”

“Am I boring you? After 621 years?”

The tension could be felt not just in the room on screen, but even in the living room at home.

“Ah, come on, didn’t you just suggest to form a band for the same reason?”

Can was getting ready for another lover’s quarrel – maybe he was even kind of expecting it, because last time, this had been their inspiration to… he leaned into Tin’s body a bit more closely just in case.

But instead of starting another argument, Plan only smiled and shook his head.

“I was just teasing you, honey. I’m sure you’ll look stunning.” He winked, both at Mean and at the camera. “Make sure to get copies of the best shots, there are a few old pictures on the walls I’m getting tired of.”

They settled into discussing different instruments, and soon came to an agreement that Plan would play the drums, as he had already announced, Gun would play the bass, and the two youngest would play the guitar and sing.

Can remembered the booming sound of Title’s voice at the beginning of the first episode. He wondered if he could harness it for a song, too?

“Now, all we need is a name…”

“That Vampire Band!” – “Bloodsuckers!” – “My Immortal!”

“That’s too cliché.”

The suggestions came in such a rapid succession that Can had trouble keeping up.

“Let’s call it _Tempt_! You know... because vampires...”

“We aren’t tempting anyone,” Mean said grumpily, “that’s just an old cliché. Seriously, who would be tempted by us?”

Plan rolled his eyes and looked up at his husband very slowly – the slow-down effect even more exaggerated by the postproduction of the series. Can glanced upwards at Tin. He better not be _tempted_ by this gaze or Can would make sure to watch Vampires on his own in the future.

He did a double take when he caught Tin doing the same.

“You aren’t-” Can said slowly.

“Of course not!”

“Good.”

Relieved, Can turned his attention back to the screen – just to see Plan’s expression return to neutral.

“Speak for yourself,” he said. “You’re not even in the band, no wonder you won’t tempt anyone.”

“Between a model and a drummer, who do you think would be more tempting, huh? I could… I just don’t want to.”

Mean pouted.

Can found it kind of cute.

He wouldn’t tell Tin about that, of course.

“Come on, did your brain get hurt sometime in the last 600 years? Rock stars are much cooler than models!” Plan protested.

“Sucks to be you, then,” Mean replied, smirking.

Now he really looked like Tin, Can thought. He needed to pull his eyes away from him, before it became obvious.

Why were these vampires all so attractive?

“Why is he saying that?” he asked Tin instead.

Tin laughed.

Can wanted to slap him.

“Ey, what’s so funny? Explain it to me! Tin! You know I’m too stupid for these things. Explain it! Explain it! Please, please!”

“Alright, alright”. Tin held his hands up defensively. “It’s easy: Mean is a model, and Plan wants to be a rock star. If they succeed, Mean will be the one married to a rock star… which, according to Plan, is cooler. So, it sucks for Plan, that he’s only married to a model.”

The answer made Can think so hard that his forehead was all wrinkled up as he frowned. It made a bit of sense, still…

“Yeah, but Plan will be the rock star himself. Isn’t it even cooler to be something than just to date someone like that?”

Tin shrugged.

“That’s debatable.” Tin smirked, not unlike Mean had done on screen a few moments ago – yep, there was definitely a similarity there. “I think it’s cooler to date a personal trainer than to be one.”

It took Can a bit to process what Tin had just said – then he kicked him, a bit harder than he would usually do.

“Not true!”

In response, Tin snickered.

“Then it’s win-win, isn’t it?”

If he put it like that, Can couldn’t really argue with him. He couldn’t imagine dating a personal trainer instead of being one, he loved his job at the gym and he was finally really good at something.

He smiled to himself.

It was good to know that Tin liked this about him, too. Other people sometimes tried to plant doubts in his mind, whether their relationship could really last, with Tin being a corporate heir, while Can was just showing people how to exercise.

But in moments like these, Can knew that Tin wouldn’t want it any other way, either.

Or, Can could easily remind him of the advantages of having a personal trainer as his boyfriend.

Once his attention was back on the TV, Perth, Title and Gun were all leaning forward while looking seductively into the camera and Can understood just enough to know that they had decided to actually go with Tempt for the name of their group.

Can wiggled a bit and looked at Tin until he turned his head towards him.

“If they give a concert, can we go? Please. Please? Pretty please? Hm?”

Tin sighed.

“Let’s listen to them first. See if they are any good… I don’t want to go to a concert to listen to shitty music.”

“But I want to see them! Who cares if they sound bad? Concerts aren’t just about music!” Can protested.

It only made Tin smirk.

“Do you want to make me jealous?”

As if Can needed to make an effort to get Tin jealous. Tin did that all by himself.

“Come on, they are _vampires_! They’re on TV! Isn’t that enough?”

Tin’s reluctance to agree didn’t worry Can at all. He would come around. He was sure of it.

After having decided on a name for their band, the vampires got up and started to tidy up the storage room with the musical instruments, to turn it into a practice room.

“Woah,” Tin suddenly exclaimed, “this looks like a treasure trove for music historians. I can’t believe they have such rare instruments there.”

Taking Tin’s word for it, Can watched in awe how the vampires carelessly dumped musical instruments that Can had never even seen, let alone knew the names or sounds of.

“I bet someone at LBC University is having a heart attack, seeing them treat precious instruments like that,” Tin added.

Watching the scene unfold, with Tin’s words still echoing in his mind, Can suddenly noticed something and laughed:

“Do you still believe that these are just actors? Would the show really go to the length of buying such rare props, hm?”

“Ah, you’re right, maybe these aren’t real instruments… I was being silly.”

Can laughed again, more heartfelt this time.

“The instruments look real enough, though. Why can’t you just accept the fact that they really are vampires?”

The way Tin exhaled in exasperation almost made Can giggle. Tin was too funny when he was just slightly annoyed by him, but not enough to actually be angry.

Still, Can couldn’t understand why Tin was so reluctant to believe that they really were vampires – why couldn’t they be?

“Is this how you imagined vampires to be, Can? Aren’t you disappointed that they aren’t dark and brooding and turn into bats?”

Can shrugged.

“Why can’t they be like they are? They drink blood and they have lived a long time, and they explained it, didn’t they? If they don’t kill people to live, they need light and not darkness, so why should they be dark and brooding? That’s just your stereotype, Tin.”

As if the show had anticipated their argument, the somewhat peaceful band practice was broken by a loud shouting match between Gun and Perth on how a specific sequence was supposed to sound like – until Gun suddenly started to hiss, his face distorted, showing his dangerously sharp, white, gleaming fangs.

“Woah!”

Can instinctively clutched onto Tin harder than before and buried his head in his shoulders, only glancing at the screen from the safety of Tin’s embrace.

Even Gun’s eyes had turned unnaturally red.

There was a loud clash of a bass guitar falling to the floor, followed by another, more melodic one of an acoustic guitar. Perth was also showing his fangs, hissing like a threatened cat.

They were about to jump at each other’s throats, Title frantically holding both of them apart with failing strength, when an energetic drum roll stopped them on their track.

While Plan stood up from behind his drums and walked lazily over to the others, the scene in front of him looked frozen in time.

For a moment, Can contemplated the idea that Plan might have a special ability to slow time, or something – but he wasn’t the only one moving, the cymbals on the drum set were still shaking and vibrating at their normal speed.

It was really just his intervention that had stopped the others.

“Behave, boys,” the leader said calmly, prompting both Gun and Perth to fall back into their usual handsome selves, fangs retracted, eyes back to their natural colours.

There was a cut to Gun, shifting nervously while he was sitting next to a smiling, angelic-looking Perth in front of the camera.

“I had an accident last month,” Gun said meekly. “I’m a bit irritable because of it. I apologise to the audience for my outburst. It… it wouldn’t happen like that at a concert, it is safe for you to come. This was just a little lapse.”

Both he and Perth put their hands together and bowed apologetically.

“Please continue to support us!” Perth added, showing his most professionally friendly smile.

“Why would we not support them if this happened at a concert?” Can asked. “Wouldn’t it be cool if they did that live? You don’t think they’re dangerous… do you?”

Couldn’t Tin just eat his words, now? Can had seen many fake monster transformations in movies, and none had looked _this_ realistic. The show would have to have a crazy budget to make this kind of special effect, that not even Hollywood could replicate.

But Tin would probably be too proud to admit he was wrong – so Can didn’t bring it up again.

“You’re weird sometimes, Can,” Tin said, probably somewhat in response to his question. “You are the biggest scaredy-cat I know, and yet, you want them to do this at a concert? You’d have a heart attack!”

“You’d protect me.”

“Of course I would!”

When Can looked up into Tin’s eyes, he was surprised to see how genuinely happy he was about this off-handed reaction. It wasn’t like it was only Tin protecting Can from scary things – Can was also here to protect Tin from his horrible family. But unlike Tin, he didn’t need to be validated and praised for it.

“See, then you’ll have to come with me to the concert.”

“You tricked me!”

Can stuck his tongue out at Tin and grinned.

Tin sighed.

“Fine. But you’ll be in charge of the tickets.”

“Yay!”

Even though the series was still running, Can jumped up and did an impromptu celebratory dance in front of the couch. He would have to write it down in 10 different places to make sure he didn’t forget to buy the tickets, not to mention that he needed to find out when the first concert was going to be – but Tin had said yes!

“You’re so easily pleased,” Tin teased.

“And? So? Better than being hard to please, like you?”

With an inviting smile, Tin patted the spot next to him on the sofa. Can eyed him sceptically for just a moment, then he gladly dropped onto the sofa again. There was still at least half of the episode left to watch, and he didn’t want to miss anything this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might add more episodes in the future if I'm inspired or feeling particularly silly.

**Author's Note:**

> There might be another episode or two of this, if I feel like it. (I have half finished a second episode, so I'm leaving it at two chapters for now.


End file.
